My greatest fear is losing people in my life; being forgotten by those who I used to call good friends. This is such a big fear of mine because I feel it is not uncommon for it to happen to me. I really care about the people I interact with but when they have to leave my immediate life due to going to a different school, living in a different city, or just moving on with their life, I am unable to stay in contact as much as I would like. I do this because I fear that our friendship was not as valuable to them, so I keep my distance, because it’s my protection from being hurt. If I actively show someone that I miss them and they don’t miss me then I’m hurt and feel like a fool. But if I keep my distance then I can create a false sense of friendship and security and avoid feeling anything at all. But you know what, that’s a shitty life philosophy. I've spend too much of my life sitting on the sideline, never taking action in fear of the repercussions. Making others come to me, waiting for them to make the first move before I feel ok to show them that I care. But that’s not love; it’s a selfish curtain to hide behind, putting the burden of responsibility on others. Love can only be seen in the actions you do for others. You have to stop hiding; step out into that spotlight and be seen. Take a chance to feel something in order to accept and feel the love you deserve. So take responsibility and make sure the people you care about know it.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Greatest Fear
My greatest fear is losing people in my life; being forgotten by those who I used to call good friends. This is such a big fear of mine because I feel it is not uncommon for it to happen to me. I really care about the people I interact with but when they have to leave my immediate life due to going to a different school, living in a different city, or just moving on with their life, I am unable to stay in contact as much as I would like. I do this because I fear that our friendship was not as valuable to them, so I keep my distance, because it’s my protection from being hurt. If I actively show someone that I miss them and they don’t miss me then I’m hurt and feel like a fool. But if I keep my distance then I can create a false sense of friendship and security and avoid feeling anything at all. But you know what, that’s a shitty life philosophy. I've spend too much of my life sitting on the sideline, never taking action in fear of the repercussions. Making others come to me, waiting for them to make the first move before I feel ok to show them that I care. But that’s not love; it’s a selfish curtain to hide behind, putting the burden of responsibility on others. Love can only be seen in the actions you do for others. You have to stop hiding; step out into that spotlight and be seen. Take a chance to feel something in order to accept and feel the love you deserve. So take responsibility and make sure the people you care about know it.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Me
I've never been so scared
So lost
So hurt
So confused
So uncertain
But I'm not afraid to fall
To expose my heart to the world
Because I knew you have to roll the dice
Take a chance
Take a leap
In order to discover yourself
You have to be Scared
Lost
Hurt
Confused
Uncertain
To know what it's like to be
Truly happy, Truly in Love
There is no such thing as losing
The world may be falling around you
But time wont let you stop
You Learn, You Grow
Without sadness there is no happiness
Without failure there is no success
Without you there is still a Me
I wrote this poem about 4 years ago and just came back across it last night. It really inspired me. I hope you can take something away from it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)